Monthly Archives: May 2010

Familiar turf…

Far away from talk of taxation, rent-boys and shops on New Bond Street, I too, early this morning, joined a queue.
The van parked nearby on totally silent and traffic-less main-road; a minute’s walk and I freely entered open-air emporia where cash – not ego – is king.
I’ve long-since invested in waterproof and steel-capped shoes; simple protection against the mud and grass underfoot and the occasional clout as you walk past artifacts both microscopic and solidly massive.
A quick lap of the various entabled offerings and yes, stood beside an open-booted hatchback is something, in our field, to look at…nowhere near new, not a trendy colour, but all there at least.
“How much is that?” I ask pointing.
“Not fer sale – it’s me transport!” the heavily coated woman says stacking stainless-steel pans for £4.00p.
Not today lucrative turf perhaps, but in my line quite familiar and oh so re-assuring!
Selling a bike may not be easy – whereas ‘transport’ literally sells itself!
A priceless, yet professional point.
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My usual troll around the Mail pages was marred today by the constant popping-up of pop-ups every time I changed pages. The blocker blocked the lot but the yellow strip atop the screen was like a flashing neon as I browsed.
A sign of things to come perhaps? Especially, soon, at the Times as even they speculate in order to make ends meet.
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Pile it high…sell it cheap?

More or less bankrupt columnist Liz Jones has a nice trendy piece in the mail about the new market-stall on the corner of New Bond Street. As in ALL good ADVERTS she mentions the name several times and flaunts pix of a few CHOICE sale items.
The article ‘slant’, by Liz, is one of skint bewilderment, nicely done too, with a classic line near the beginning of the article as she approached the new stall, eager to view the items for sale. Items, that is, in the £25,000 to £50,000 per unit Price-bracket. Liz says revealingly, “…I joined the queue…”

Mmm…deficits are for public-sectors.

Yesterday’s Mail advert was for a removal company – the one doing The Cameron’s gig. Full photo of the actual van, with company name and telephone number perfectly readable upon it’s side – you can almost hear the punters..erm, sheep..erm, nice customers bleat, “Oh, we got the same firm as The Camerons you know – good, but frightfully expensive!” Nice one Mail!

I have, just for devilment, been looking all over the beeb site for adverts – and indeed, thought I’d found one within the story of the oil-leak.
Sadly the company is BP – oh dear – hardly an advert! And possibly another bailout!

Ahaaa! ‘…the worlds leading producer of the anti-diabetic drug – insulin..’ It’s a Danish company that’s whingeing about it’s prices or something.
Well chucks, you got a cheapo ad. there – well done!

It’s easy for politicians: ‘…blah blah blah (slightly contraversial text etc) according to A.C’s new book…’ Mmmmm….to a writer that, on the beeb site, is worth a FORTUNE eh?

And one for ex S. G’s boss – with details of present stage acts/pop-stars etc. that he currently ‘manages’. All clever stuff eh?

There’s biggy adverts for the Co. that makes luxury ‘big-cat’ cars and rough-terrain vehicles. They’re orf to China to assemble the goods – it’s cheaper thay say.
Mind you, over here big-cat cars are ten a penny because of road-tax and we’ve got roads not paddy-fields so the other types, here, are pointless. Bye! Or as they say round here, Tata!!
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The biggest hinderment to kicking-off a small business is the taxation of it all. Not just the cash but the nit-picking minutaea you have to go through to fill in the various and ever increasing number of forms and licences. The forms concerned with employing a person are enough to render EVERYONE unemployed right now! But we struggle along. Tax is about 25% or 40%….
Unless of course you’re a B2L landlord…which isn’t really ‘a business’ is it? The tax they’re used to is about 18%. Nice one! Many B2L’s are rented by people claiming the rent from benefits – the best, most RELIABLE income source for many years. A really nice, cosy scam.
I’ve said before that if one person’s business is taxed at £25% then they ALL should. OR, all should be taxed at 18% – or at whatever the general tax-rate is.
Perhaps owning say one second home isn’t strictly ‘a business’ – but even so the cash from it, as a B2L, is INCOME so it should count for tax in the normal way.
Owning more than one B2L is ‘a business’ and it should attract all the paperwork and taxation that mine does!
Nasty eh? It sure is. That’s why ALREADY there are a third more houses up for sale this week than last! And two-thirds more than this time last year (Mail) – as intended fresh taxation levels start to price the B2L ‘business’ out of existence.
Proof indeed that not just taxation, but the very mention of it at ‘normal, business levels’, is the cause of a dearth of business and industrial activity in this country.
And a glut, dear entrepreneurs, of cheap houses!
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It’s a funny thing but in many tabloid (and indeed at beeb) the sum of £15,000 varies in apparent value.
When it refers to benefits paid to poor non-workers it’s astronomical. Yet when it refers ‘alimony’ paid to a ‘duchess’ it’s paltry.

To understand the true value of such a sum just try and earn it – off your own back that is.

To get £15,000 you have to pull about £25,000 plus whatever sum you put in to get a return – which includes food, rent, rates, lecky & gas, car & related expense….so to clear about £15,000 pulling £100,000.00p might just cover it!
Is it any wonder folk opt for the stay-at-home option?

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The price of grass.

Oooooh! The NuBlu shepherds are really uptight this morning. Apparently a great herd of sheep are costing a FORTUNE in grass and are NOT growing enough wool to pay for it! It’s costing the NuBlu’s £15,000 every year to keep some of these sheep-families. A few cost even more!

You can hardly blame the sheep – minimum wool-rate is just over £200 a week – less wool-tax and insurance – and then you have to fork-out yourself for a bit of meadow to gambol and sleep in. And that’s if you can find someone that actually NEEDS your wool!

Some of the shepherds are jumping over theirselves trying to solve this puzzle – some of the hard-working sheep are bahhing loudly about it too! But any answer so far put forward just seems to make the problem worse – in fact the ‘Workfare’ idea – community work for benefits – has been tried in U.S. since the FIFTIES and has always run out of cash and/or steam – it simply gets ‘voted-out’ at election times.

One thing that might help is putting THE SHEPHERDS on minimum wool-rate for a bit. At least then they would see from whence the benefit herd cometh. It would directly help the deficit interest payments too – only in a bigger way. For shepherd or benefit claimant – both have the same field of grass.
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Funtime apart; as ever the thing really needed in GB is a massive surge in the number of real, normal, everyday, JOBS. Jobs that a person can ASPIRE to.

So, what could the government do in order to STIMULATE the creation of thousands of real, across-the-range, from labourer to designer, JOBS?
Not (regretfully) perhaps overnight, but with NOTICEABLE effect immediately.
No, governments do NOT create self-financing jobs, but they can stimulate their creation.

Answers in only four (4) words………..

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Tut tut. I hate getting bogged-down with all this public-sector claptrap of benefits/debt/squalor/unemployment etc. But, for some, such is life.
Yet it’s not really difficult taking a carrier-bag full of stuff and flogging the lot within half an hour.
It’s just a matter of being a good listener. Listening for NEEDS…then satisfying them.
All in a days work folks – no ego’s here. Plus, got an earfull of fresh needs too – for another day of course.
Ahhhh, it can be satisfying at times.

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Oooh! A little Mail snippet…apparently that nice Mr. Cameron has said that he’ll, “…light the fires of entrepreneurialism across the country…”

Mmmm…I hadn’t got him down as an arsenist meself…
But, once again, I’ve heard it all before and it usually ends in tears.
It’s hard to do much kindling when Freedom Day is sometime in June – or, for some, in September!
Or, for B2L landlords…….soon to be history!

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And who needs this lot anyway – CBS at Cricket Club Sunday – kick-off 7 am. It’ll be HEAVING!!!!!! And most of us can’t even SAY entrepreneurialism – let alone understand it!!!!!!


Yes, I have a deficit. Mind you actually having such makes me feel trendy and conformist! I’m just like everybody else on this cold and wintry summer’s morn.
My deficit – a whopping £8.63p – ish, has been giving me palpitations and nightmares since – oooh, yesterday. So today, rather than procrastinate I must get to grips with it.
Firstly, while the red ink is there desecrating my spreadsheet (invariably a cool and sedate black upon white) it is a time-worthy task just to sit-back and examine it; define it exactly. Once a problem is correctly identified it’s cure can be easily applied.
The deficit is there because INCOME has not quite kept pace with OUTGOINGS. I.E. for a few days/hours my business must have spent MORE than was returning from sales.
It is, in effect, a problem of cashflow, not a problem of product or service credibility.
In all honesty I have a repair job awaiting picking-up and stock-levels are quite good – so the ‘cashflow’ initial theory looks good.
But, the problem was caused and so a cure should be instigated to allay this minor but troublesome result. It is only £8 odd this time, but the next it may be £800 odd, and far more of a problem.
So I’ll look to Pricing on this one. An extra penny or so per sale will alleviate the future deficit problem and a slight increase in sales may help – but not always as this also increases costs.
A check of costs ensures that these are minimised at all times.

The penny or two rise in Prices will literally cure the problem and not just ‘quick-fix’ it. The last thing to contemplate in such a situation is borrowing. Once this is done costs are raised alarmingly and as a result basic viability is threatened.
Yet how many, upon seeing a deficit, reach for the credit-card. Or, simply do nothing and hope another sale or two will come in and raise the turnover to ‘hide’ the problem – which, if left to itself, will re-occur.

A small adjustment, as above, is far more effective, long-term, than allowing a deficit to accumulate (while sales – i.e. turnover, is buoyant and making it all look good) and then attempting a fix.

Not to mention the sale, timed to blossom before I logged-on this morning, which all but negated the deficit anyway. So, rather than being a country-closing nightmare, a (sudden) deficit can be an efficient early-warning-system of cashflow problems. But, everyone knows that don’t they?
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More importantly – Tutenkhamun! Yes, Zawi was at it again last night on TV hot on the trail of King Tut and his erstwhile family. Zawi and the gang drilled and DNA’d everything in sight and sorted-out the lineage of the boy Pharoah. Akhenaton was indeed his father – Amenhotep III his granddaddy and his mother was ‘Young Mummy’ from a nearby tomb. They’re not sure exactly who young mummy was yet – maybe Nerfertiti, or Kiya – but Zawi will sort it one way or the other. Next week – did King Tut have children? Who was his wife? All will be revealed folks by Zawi and his team!
And a shedload of ‘medical’ and forensic equipment…and umpteen camera crews and a score of archaeo’s, each with new gazguzzling 4WD’s………

Absorbing – if only from a deficit angle.

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NCIS, CIS, CIA, FBI. Many programmes on TV now feature these crime-fighting conglomerates. There are too British equivalents. The technology used is awesome…….both in the detection and the filming. The manpower astronomical.
Again – deficit forming.

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Mmm…Ian Duncan Smith (Mail) seems to be getting ‘tough’ with benefits claimants, “ or lose benefits..” being the headline. And, “..people should do community work for their benefits..”

Yep. Fine IDEAS (but hardly anything new) – but which ‘work’ d’you mean? And what bit of work there is is already being done by someone – what do they do? And ‘community work’ simply ADDS to the public-payroll and WORSE, adds to the public-payroll PENSION SCHEME!!!

No Mr. Smith – the idea at the moment is to CUT public costs to reduce a mind-boggling DEBT and deficit.

Everything so mentioned will simply add to those debts.

(Actually they’re created by entrepreneurs…shhhh!)


Lately people that win huge sums in the various lotteries etc. are often in the news. Surely this is a good thing?
Maybe, but also in the news are the horror stories of people addicted to gambling.
Over the years I read many an article on gambling – is it a real business concept? Or is it a fun thing? Or what is it?

So I’ve written an article myself about the status of gambling as a business concept – see About Gambling link at top of page.

Ahhh! Funds!

As already mentioned it’s quite a perk to be able to arrange things so that a positive cash transaction, occurs first thing on a normally, depressing, Monday morning. Equally uplifting are those transactions – however small – that occur while one is asleep in bed – the morning coffee, indeed on this very morn, all the more aromatic!
Talking of waking-up and smelling the coffee; that nice Mr. Cable is jet-setting high and low trying to get a ‘new banking-tax’ off the ground. (Mail) The idea is that countries impose even more taxation on their banks and shove the results into a special ‘bailout fund’ – that can, strangely, be used for ‘other things’.
Participants can be from anywhere not just europe apparently. In fact I also read at the beeb that eu internal markets commissioner Mr. Barnier is also after such funding. He states cautiously, ‘…the cash would help temporarily – at times of COLLAPSE…’
He also says, according to beeb,’..the cost of failures would not be met by taxpayers…’
(Erm, where d’you suppose the banks get their cash from then? Non-tax-payers? Martians?)

Now, right or wrong who am I to judge? I just want to know where they’ll actually put the cash – in a bank? And, what will be the cost of actually collecting the cash – starting with the jet-setting costs of Messrs. Cable and Barnier…and their erm…entourages (?).
I don’t suppose that any cash raised would merely get swallowed-up in debt-interest…would it?

Just letting the banks retain their money in the first place, thus possibly staying viable, doesn’t seem to be an option……

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Also in Mail is the story that in 2008/9 540,000 bikes were stolen. This is not good I know, but from a ‘business’ point of view @ £10 per stolen bike re-sold that’s just £5,400,000.00p. As far as I know only the ministry of taxation does better in that particular line!

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Sarah, it’s time you signed-on, you’d be better off financially – might get a bigger house too.
Once done you can relax a while and, perhaps, read something ‘entrepreneurial’! I mean, there must be someone somewhere writing the bloody stuff…

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Mmm…British Airways, Royal Mail, British Telecom. Over £20,000,000,000.00p in pension deficits there folks. I daresay they’ll foist the lot on the taxpayer one day…

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Oh dear. I’ve just been checking my spreadsheet(s) for the trading year and guess wot. I’m running a………………………

Yep. £8.63p in the friggin’ RED! Yikes!!! Now I know how all the other CEO’s feel! Oh, it’s terrible! And the first quarter is up soon.
Oh catastrophe.
Gordon Bennett.

Mind you Cable & Wireless have had a ‘promising’ first year as a company (?) reporting a loss of £94,000,000.00p – this though takes into account their pension deficit of £143,000,000.00p.
Thank heavens for that! At least I’m not the only one!


The photograph, on the left, is of a sheep. It is not a Daily Mail reader/poster at website.

Because yesterday umpteen Daily Mail ‘readers’ actually wrote – en masse – on the internet, about how much they WELCOMED the public-sector ‘cuts’ and/or the new tax increases etc.

They were IN RAPTURES over it all!

They were actually BEGGING for MORE cuts to be honest! The cuts of course are cuts to public services that cost us an absolute fortune every year, but this cost, as a result of the cuts, won’t decrease and actually HELP Mr & Mrs NuBlu sheep, oh no. The cost of the resulting service levels will actually GO UP! The tax increases/cuts are merely to offset shepherds debts!

The shepherds? Oh, they’ll be ROFLA at the moment. Later they’ll be thinking-up (and orchestrating?) the next major crisis.

The sheep above, by the way, was featured here around April the first – it’s a new variety that shears itself – something novel from the anals at the ministry of taxation.

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Sheep often like to gambol – so, to keep ’em happy here’s an article whereby they can have a little wager without any worries – like being totally FLEECED by the markets guys whose BONII (not wages! They daren’t publish such figures!) come in wads of £half a billion every three months!
What you have to do is speculate, yes, like the markets men, upon which crisis or indeed crises, will hit the fan next. The present one of course is the financial crisis. (Sometimes called the world or european financial crisis too, but it’s one and the same thing)
There have been umpteen crises of late (over my lifetime I’ve seen hundreds!) mp’s expenses crisis, hung parliament crisis, oil crisis, global-warming crisis (good one that) unemployment crisis, banking crisis. Etc.
ALL of these crises have the same basic aims, 1) to allow further taxation increases and 2) to allow governments further special powers.

Strangely, as each crisis slowly fades into oblivion (runs out of publicity in most tabloid chip-wrappers) the tax increases and new powers never get changed back.

So, what’ll be the next crisis?

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The thing is: don’t worry too much about all this claptrap. It’s gone on for years now and usually each crisis brings about some new technology or invention from some entrepreneur that’s quietly beavering away in his shed somewhere.
Years ago, during the horse crisis (oh yes, it was terrible, I mean, you couldn’t WALK anywhere!) some intrepid tinkerer dropped his fag-end into a system of pistons and crankshafts that he’d made – just to test the accuracy of his new lathe mind – and the lathe coolant (we used to call it ‘mystic’ – oil & water, white it was) internally combusted and the crankshaft turned….well, within a few weeks he’d built hisself a car! A horseless-carriage no less.
The sheep saw him drive past and they ALL wanted one! Of course they didn’t understand lathes and drills and mystic…but other entrepreneurs did and soon (with many of the sheep doing the mundane tasks – for mundane pay natch. and that taxed and n.i.’d – talk about gullible!) horseless-carriages were parked everywhere. It was the parked horseless-carriage crisis.
Which brought about yet another invention – The Road. The sheep saw and ALL wanted one – ergo, the road crisis. Which, eventually, brought about: the cross-roads crisis – it was BEDLAM until some bright spark invented the traffic light – but, placed at EVERY street corner and with derivatives (pelicans) every ten yards, it was faster by horse – or even on foot.
A hundred years or so of ‘the car’ has emptied every underground grotto and cave of its oil – so a glimpse of a crisis to come has surfaced; the collapsing crust crisis.
Watch-out for a pit-prop tax.

Of course the entrepreneurs don’t fall for all this crises malarky as inventing ever-new modes of grass takes every minute they’ve got.
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**As I write an article in the mail tells of Spain’s, Greece and Portugal’s debts of over 2,000,000,000,000.00p euro’s.**

That’s two TRILLION folks………….some jobsworth somewhere LET it get to this.
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You know there’s something devilishly satisfying in riding a good bike, at thirty ONE mph, and giving a smile and a two-fingered wave at each speed-camera.
🙂 🙂

How to….

Monday morning again – oh dear. For many it is the most depressing time of the week as people trudge off to ‘the job’, after weekend’s relaxations, in a useless attempt to actually ‘make’ some £ in this country of debt.
Really it’s just the same here. But when you call the shots you can, to some extent, control where, (and more importantly for this article) when, the balls hit the target. So I just love to set things so that upon Monday’s early, first tentative forays, these now old eyes view GOOD news! Today is no exception with several POSITIVE sales upon yonder global marketplace. ‘Tis totally anti-depressive on normally depressive Monday morning. In fact I just love Mondays! The work for the rest of the week will simply be re-setting the system for another sunny Monday next week – with, perhaps, a little highlight midweek just for the hell of it.

Meanwhile the p-s does it the hard way with current debts of approximately £900,000,000,000.00p. Now THAT’S what I call Monday Morning Blues!

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There’s talk this morning of Privatising royal mail. With an r.m. pension deficit of over £8,000,000,000.00p maybe it’ll always be just talk!

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And british airways don’t know if they’re coming or going! They’ve a few bob in the bank yet but at present cashflow levels a £billion here or there won’t last long – then it’s down to guess who? Yep. Taxpayers…

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Earlier I jotted an article about Zawi and King Tutenkhamun – well, a really detailed foray into all this can be read in a book called Act of God by Graham Philips. The book is a bit dated now but the factual arguments within are of course timeless. It is good, on this pleasant, sunny Monday to read a writer that bases his words on sourced and acknowledged facts.

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Mmm…interesting article (mail or beeb?? one of two) from The British Chamber of Commerce (which sounds p-s but is actually P-S! Hey! We’re allowed ONE quango for gawds sake!) who would like to see a reduction of ‘red-tape’ that strangles British business.
Without wanting to FREELY advise (I don’t work free) but doing this would be as good as a few pence off income tax to any businessperson.
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Literally minutes ago I was having a coffee downstairs while TV was on and noticed a bewildered Philip Scofield discussing ‘getting a mortgage’ techniques with an ‘expert’. (A lady of veritable model dimensions, but clued-up she was so hey, LISTEN to the young lady!!)
Philip was gobsmacked as the expert stated that ‘to get any mortgage at the moment you’ll need 15% or more as initial deposit’.
He said, “There is no way, is there, that people can save such amounts?”
The expert said, “It is very, very difficult.”
The two of them were reading-out e-mails sent in to the programme about the subject and the expert was ‘advising’ as the e-mails were read. The main slant of the ‘advice’ was on the differing types of mortgage, which were a MAZE of percentage figures and company names. But the botton line for most wannabees was simply, “No Chance!”
No one mentioned the ‘old’ way of buying a house……..with cash.
A sure sign that the art of generating that cash, for many youngsters, is a forgotten, for want of a better word, dream.

So, over next day or so I’ll put a Page up about ‘Buying A House’ that might just fill a few ‘advice’ gaps that the mentioned programme wasn’t able to fill.
Because I’d guess that both Philip and the expert could buy on a first-time basis, just about any (within reason!) home they wished!

See Page Link, ‘About Buying A House For The First Time’, above.

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Mmm…Robert Peston at the beeb wonders if the Private-Sector will be troubled by public-sector cuts. He cites instances of several £billion that ‘won’t be handed over to Private – Sector firms’ as a result of said cuts, and will they mind? The answer Robert dear is NO they won’t mind because those £billions came from them in the first place!
Like your salary.

A drip?

Mmm…the very hot weather should eventually winkle-out some drip of a jobsworth to implement a COLD-WATER BAN. Usual par for the course warm-weather stuff in GB.
Then of course it’s down to the shops to buy IMPORTED bottled stuff (from taps absolutely anywhere and everywhere upon the globe!) at TEN TIMES the price of course!
Plastic bottles go in blue bin………are they handed back to suppliers??? For a slight (cough!) £ consideration of course.

Soon jobsworths from reservoirs will be on TV….”Ooooh, oi ain’t never seen it s’low. Don’t look nat’ral t’me…armagidd’n…bills’ll havta rise…”

In another month it starts going dark! In six months water will be washing cars down flooded streets of empty B2L’s, because by then even that ‘business’ will probably be taxed out of existence….what starts with a seemingly insignificant drip………

Taken for a ride?

The new bikes for London Hire Sca…erm …Scheme were Made In Canada. Great. To hire one for 24 hours will cost £51.00p. You can hire a car for less – but hey, let’s not be hasty and see how it goes.

Keep an eye on ‘Bikes’ on Ebay – it might get interesting. Around here they’d put Canada on ebay let alone its bikes!

*******Serco, the Co. doing the bike-hire schemes has signed contracts worth over £2,000,000,000.00p and p-t Profits are over 30% up at £84,000,000.00p.*******

And they said, “Dad, why bikes?”

Mind you, I’ve always liked wheelin’ and dealin’…


Nice one Blackpool!