You’d have thought things to smile at would be few and far between in these austere times. But no, a quick perusal and the press is always there to help!
For instance, at the beeb ‘news’ and EU indoctrination website you can click on a ‘video’ thingy that tells you, ‘How to live on the minimum wage’. The work of making the video had to be farmed-out of course…
The Barclays brothers (?) have bought three London hotels for 800 million euros. They bought them from The Irish Toxic Debt Agency who now have several ‘Salesmen of The Year’ nominations…
Nokia are sacking another 3,500 folk – profits are, for some reason unclear to them, well down this year. Workers were informed by letter…apparently…
Ministers have pledged £250,000,000.00p to councils in order that wheelie-bin collections can be made weekly again – which will commence, oh, sometime next year…meanwhile half-price Bubonic Plague injections will continue at the local Rickets Clinics – bring the kids!
A South of England survey tells us (Littlejohn especially!) that only teeny-weeny minorities are a) Gay and b) Immigrants.
The North of England survey will take place when someone can translate the term: ‘Gender Verification Tests’ into every world language.
Bolton Council are to spend £100,000.00p on : ‘…sending positive messages and ‘interesting recycling facts’, by text, to tenants that put their bins out on the correct day…’
When it comes to rubbish trust your council!
It was really warm yesterday – especially outside as I checked our bins and delved the ‘Wheelie-Bin-Rotation and Collection Charts’ sent to us – as we got our new green (the colour not the concept) wheelie-bins over the past week or so. Having a bit of ‘garden’ at the front does allow space for the bins; ours stood in a colourful Moai-like row a few feet from the front door. But how folk without such space are coping is another matter entirely, anyway, it being Thursday again I’m up early to sort which bin to trundle to the roadside for later emptying.
Some eu jobsworth or other has come-up with a cracker – our roads should have eu speed limits – one of them equates, in mph, to 18 mph! The reason? To ‘halve road deaths’. Erm, how many lives will be saved by ambulances travelling at 18 mph, or fire-engines, or police-cars? Ah well, soon it really will be quicker by bike!
And that nice Mr. Miliband hastens to add that despite his speech about making businesses pay tax etc., he wasn’t anti-business! Of course not chuckie – it’s what pays all the bills after all. So long as someone will actually do it…
At the beeb ‘news’ website a click on the ‘Business’ tab brings-up the headline: ‘European Commission presents financial transaction tax’. You know, as if it’s something wonderful.
It’s all ‘slow-lane’ stuff
There are no interesting thingies – like Road Bikes – in the news today so a laff has to be found elsewhere. You don’t need to look far!
That nice Mr. Miliband says he’s declaring war on what he calls ‘Asset-Strippers’, you know, the folk that just seem to make a bundle out of thin air, like a Market-Trader, rather than the more basic (and easier to tax?) entrepreneur like a Market-Trader. I just wonder what he’ll do about that nice Ms Legarde at the imf – the one that wants to strip more assets (£5,000 per family in GB) than anyone in history!
Meanwhile we’ve now got four wheelie-bins. The latest, a green one, magically arrived a few days ago and folk in the street were out looking at them. (There’s not much else to do around here!) The way things are though – with cash being so tight – filling four of these up, for the poor council, gets harder and harder. But we’ll do our best. In the old days of coal-fires and factory grime it was easy, but not so now.
From the woes of the non-productive to things entirely productive! Our spud-crop, this season, now harvested, pulled just over 40 lbs of excellent red-tinged spuds (possibly King Edwards) for nowt – except a bit of basic land cultivation.
Some of these were grown merely from spud peelings which were just buried at the plot and left. For the main plantings two rows of about 10 seed spuds (sprouters from the kitchen cupboard) were raised in soil that after a year or two of weeding/de-stoning/digging and compost-adding, is now able to grow some nice-sized spuds. As Autumn advances a little grass may be lost to afford more vegetable space for next season.
It’ll be all go I expect in europe as folk there attempt to feed each other without cash. The International Monetary Fund (IMF) – which I have heard of a few times – wants funding, no longer in £billions – but in £trillions!!!- and is ‘having (bailout) talks’ etc. with The Euro Financial Stability Facility (EFSF) – that’s a new one on me – and the European Central Bank (ECB) – I’ve heard of that one!
Meanwhile in GB – to put things in perspective – that nice Mr. Cameron says he’ll boost business start-ups in the UK with a £100,000,000.00p tax-break scheme! The way things are going that should be enough to fund maybe one ‘new’ window-cleaner for the next twelve months – well, who can afford one? And, lately, who can actually afford windows!? I mean, you can’t just turn a money-tap on can you?
For a read at The Business ‘news’ this morning I went to the beeb news website and clicked the ‘Business’ tab. Up came news about the eu??? Mmmm…not really business news is it? But there are a couple of corporate stories to actually make the ‘Business’ heading legal (!?!?) But here’s a real bit of Business News – GB Electronic Reader authors using the Amazon facility are (as far as I can now understand) no longer subject to the US IRS deduction on payments as Amazon UK is now able to process the royalties, and that electronic transfers ( rather than cheques in GB) are now possible direct. This makes a bit of a joke outlet into something that’s just about…possible? Previously the work involved/expected return/red-tape etc., deemed the royalty concept hardly worth the effort! Compared say to the Royalty on the receiving-end of the eu CAP!
Yesterday my monthly (?) edition of EN for Business magazine arrived. I have had a bit of a quick read (it has been busy here!) and something that I’d noticed on tv (an advert) was almost immediately explained.
The advert was for ‘Borro’ – a type of loan company – and a short article about the company owner is in EN for Business. In actual fact ‘Borro’ is a pawnbroking company that is, at the moment, helping other companies set-up and/or survive by means of modest short-term loans. I had wondered if Borro was anything to do with a major bank – apparently not – unless the owner has a loan???
As ever though in EN for Business what seems to be deemed of importance is ‘Turnover’ – the (expected?) Turnover of Borro is mentioned – but to some that is meaningless – Profit is what counts.
The business ‘type’ of ‘Borro’ though is worth remembering perhaps if you’re into kicking-something off.
It’s perhaps best though not to borrow – well, too much that is.
A nice roady there underneath James, but, oh dear, the most usefull bike gadgets in this country are mudguards sunshine! If you’re going to take that bike outside that is!
I’ve just watched a quick ‘video’ of that nice Mr. Cameron saying that ‘…we can’t just turn on the money-taps…’
Why not? I have to do just that!
Things ‘monetary’ seem to be getting worse on the public front. Investors have, apparently, had their worst week for three years – which means then that all the other weeks, for three years, have been good ones? Even gold has melted a touch! And some poli’ or other is bleating on about ‘saving the euro in six weeks’.
Mmm…at times like this, despite all this noise, it’s deck-chair time with a good book. It’s surprising how you can shrug-off all this clap-trap with a good read – At last!
Some of us though, up here in the Private, were up all night last night watching the skies…no we’re not going ‘Patrick Moore’ all of a sudden, but when six tons of satelite scrap falls to earth there’s always a chance of a profitable weigh-in! But no such luck last night so I shoved me old prospectin’ pram back into the shed! Mind you, if it had landed in me back-yard, knowing my luck, Sigourney Weaver and her mate would have been in it!
Most of the ‘news’ this morning seems to be about money – or, more accurately, the loss of it! (Yawn!) World, euro and British ‘Markets’ (whatever they are???) have apparently lost a bundle overnight and the place is on the verge of meltdown…
The BBC World Service ‘Business Daily’ programme (I think it’s a programme) asks the question: ‘Has Western capitalism failed?’ and it features replies by several bods – some totally funded!!?? In order to answer that question honestly The BBC should simply try it and see! Meself I’d just like to know the difference between Western and (by deductive inference?) Eastern, Northern and Southern capitalism. Walshaw or Prestwich? To me it all seems the same.
But enough of that time-wasting clap-trap. There’s a picture of a bike in today’s press:
Pictured being ridden by ex-Miss Denmark Helena Christensen, the ‘man’s’ bike has ( as advocated here!) mudguards, a single-piece BMX-style crank, what looks like a Sturmey-Archer three-speed rear hub and nice smooth roady tyres. Just the ticket for those long New York streets and shops. And, as we see, pedalling helps keep those model looks youthfull!
Oh, I’ve got about £4.00p in the tin, so a little capitalism (Northern?) will be on the cards here shortly…mind you I won’t be punting all of it…
…no meltdowns here…
For the next few days (as my wife doesn’t need it) I am sat upon the simple yet exquisite luxury of…a proper office-type chair! For a while now, as blogs have been written, I’ve been sat on a pile of slowly crushing – thus lowering – cardboard boxes of household, well, stuff.
Buying a new chair – simple and requiring only a few quid online – is one option, but the PC itself, and all the software innards, didn’t cost that much and simple economics deem, ‘why bother?’, the boxes ain’t that bad.
But for now I’m sat on something expensively ergodynamic (?) and rather enjoying it; at, more importantly to a logician, no additional cost to my precious Profits!
Yet, I read with puzzlement, that the nhs computerized system is crap and has cost we skint tax-payers £12,000,000,000.00p so far.
How can anyone spend that amount of other folks cash on some form of pc system? And that’s just for the system, the chairs probably aren’t included.
Apparently those interested in such things have discovered umpteen metres(?) of shale gas (gas metre’s??? 🙂 ) off the coast of Blackpool.
No one will be remotely interested as it will make absolutely no difference, (gas prices will still rise) to anyone’s wealth or cheaper gas-bills. The ‘wealth’ aspect will simply be extracted from one sink-hole and piped, after a brief sojourn into ‘the economy’, into another sink-hole marked, ‘ govern-mental deficit’.
With its hi-tech bits and bats that few bike mechanics (as yet!) will understand, The Ford Bike apparently arrives on the market!
Being electric the work of actually pedalling the thing is minimised – for a per-charge range of 50 miles.
But, I must ask, where is the ‘buy’ motivation.
The bike above is simply a fun toy – more workmanlike models sold about 30 million of themselves last year! And the model above won’t be cheap! Meself, when designing something like this for British use, I’d draw the mud-guards and then the shopping-basket or luggage-rack first – the space-age stuff would come later – from initial Profit! Mind you, with a budget that Ford can afford, (it was advertised in national press) who cares?
It’s sad to read that the brilliant James Bolam is ‘retiring’ from New Tricks – the really good tv police series. On the up-side two new series are ‘booked’ so the show will go on. Will it be a smaller crew though doing the graft, or will Amanda be given a newbie to break-in in order to replace James? Just in case (?) I do carry a few spares for the old Roady featured in the show – I meant The Bike!
Govern-mental borrowing in August was up a £billion or so to about £15 billion. So there are no cuts yet. In fact, it’s going the other way!!
This season’s spud-crop – now harvested as the rain was literally rotting some of the haulms – is well over 40 lbs of spuds for about 25 initial seeds. Several lbs were grown from peelings and the spuds, having a slight reddish tinge, are really good which ever way they’re cooked. Some weighed well over 1 lb each which means water (rain) was good while they grew. The stock will last us quite a few weeks.